trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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