Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
