tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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