How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
