Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
