I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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