omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
