She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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