It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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