The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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