To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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