did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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