Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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