dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
