I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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