What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
