I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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