i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
