i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dicks are not precious.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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