i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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