I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
