i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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