I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
