What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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