maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
