I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize