I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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