I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
