This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
