yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
