You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
