The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
