just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
