reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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