Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
