you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
