Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A+ Viking dick
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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