If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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