If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
