I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
