I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
