Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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