We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
