Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
