The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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