You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
