found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
