they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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