fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
