You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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