So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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