if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
